How the Universe Creates Life – 93% of the human body is made of stuff that was created in stars billions of years ago. Billions. That stuff doesn’t exist in the universe until stars create it. In the beginning, the entire universe was just composed of the simplest atoms (hydrogen and helium) plus a few forces (like gravity) and some fields (like electromagnetic fields (fields amaze me but that’s another conversation)). Then gravity brought those simple atoms together to make stars. What happens in stars is they fuse those simple atoms into bigger atoms (oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, iron, etc) and eventually when the fuel runs low, those stars explode and scatter all that bigger atom stuff throughout the universe, which is then used to make everything in new solar systems, including ours, including Earth and including us. As Carl Sagan said, we are made of star stuff…and that is how the universe creates life.
On the Lives of Dinosaurs – Dinosaurs lived tough lives. Carnivores always foraging for food. Eat or be eaten. I wonder if any of them ever woke up, took a breath of fresh air and thought, “What a beautiful day! The sun is shining, the pterodactyls are singing. I’m so happy to be alive.” If they did, I bet they lived in California. The Tyrannosaurus Californicus. A mostly vegetarian dinosaur but it would eat any other dinosaur that didn’t subscribe to its political viewpoints. It had long arms with which to hug trees, and a rainbow emanating from its butt.
Stuff we never think about
• When King Kong was in New York City, what did they do with his poop?
• Did the dermatologist leave this magazine out so I would catch something and have to come back in a few weeks?
• If Febreze gets out odors, then why doesn’t it get out its own odor?
• How do people contract herpes of the eye?
• I wonder how many dogs hear their owners having sex on a regular basis and sit there in the dark thinking “this is so unfair.”
• Why don’t the lions just wait till the heard of gazelle fall asleep? All that chasing and jumping and risk of injury. Why bother?
• Why do they televise car races? Look! They are going around the track again!
• I wonder if people had long make out sessions before toothpaste was invented.
• Do doctors check for a pulse before performing an autopsy?
• If Deepak Chopra’s name was Dave Smith, would anyone listen to what he says?
• Has anyone ever done a study of people’s facial expressions as they walk out of the bathroom?
• What is the manufacturing process of what a number of companies make called “recycled toilet paper?”
• Did the steam from cooking my food give the chef a runny nose?
• There is a scientific, evolutionary theory that states when humans’ jaws got smaller, it allowed our brains to get bigger. So then humans with big mouths, had small brains. I think that explains politicians. Could people that run for office be a random outcropping of ancient inferior DNA?
On Hospitals and Doctors – Can anyone guess what the names of these hospitals have in common?
Florida Hospital Memorial Medical Center
Glendale Memorial Hospital
Memorial Cardiology Medical Group
Lodi Memorial Hospital
Memorial Hermann Surgery Center
Santa Rosa Memorial
I know, they don’t sound like hospitals, they sound like mortuaries. So why do so many hospitals decide to include the word “Memorial” in their names? Yes, this word is used to make us remember people who have died. Is a hospital with named with “Memorial” supposed to make us feel confident about the medical staff? Are the hospital boards making an excuse right up front? Will hearing the word “memorial” over and over help skew a jury? Instead of “memorial,” why don’t they just call it Lodi Death Hospital or Florida Hospital Medical Center of God’s Waiting Room or Hermann Kick The Bucket Surgery Center? You have to think that anyone working at these places day after day and hearing “memorial” on a regular basis is going to start thinking more about death instead of life. I don’t know about you but I would rather have a doctor with a slightly more positive attitude. Even if the name of the hospital was Santa Rosa Who-Knows Hospital or Bakersfield Take-Your-Chances Hospital or even “Glendale Is-Your-Family-Insured Hospital.”
I don’t know how doctors can just wear a lab coat and occasional gloves at their jobs. If I was a doctor, I would wear a hazmat suit. I don’t even like being in their waiting rooms with all the infectious people everywhere. And what kind of diseases do you think are growing on the magazines they have for you to read? Are you really going to pick one up? Its not a magazine, its a petri dish. How many infected people passed their germs onto that thing before you handled it? I had a doctor once that would greet me by putting out his hand for me to shake. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. One time I literally said to him, “Are you kidding me?” Start watching how many of your doctors wash their hands before or after your exam. Not many. It’s good for business. My dermatologist never washed her hands. I insisted she wear gloves, that is until I stopped going to her.
The other day I walked by a hospital in SF that is being built. Like many new buildings it has an all glass exterior plus this one is on a main road with lots of traffic. As I looked at it, I suddenly realized how brilliant the hospital board was to build a hospital with a glass exterior. I could imagine every day there would be car accidents out front as drivers casually looked at the building and saw people getting physical exams. Taking off their clothes for their doctor, getting breast exams or testicle exams or bending over and grabbing their ankles or vomiting or hopping up on the table and putting their feet in stirrups. All the nudity and drama. And all the car accidents out front with the injured people being brought right into the ER which is right there. Walls of glass; its good for business.
On Religion – The Dalai Lama is said to be the reincarnation from the previous Dalai Lama, etc., etc. I am not big on religion or the belief of supernatural beings, especially ones that claim to inhabit human bodies. I will admit though that the Dalai Lama seems like a nice guy with good values. He has a Twitter account too. Upon the death of the Dalai Lama, a search for the reincarnation is conducted. High Lamas scour Tibet and the world. This search can take years. My question is, when this Dalai Lama dies and the reincarnation grows up, will he know the password to the official Dalai Lama Twitter account?
On Creative Use of Technology – Scientists are working on developing teleportation; the idea from Star Trek where people can be “beamed” from the spaceship to the planet surface or anywhere else. Imagine avoiding traffic and beaming yourself to work or going overseas in a few seconds. Avoiding travel time is great, but I think there is another use for teleportation that would be a huge benefit to humanity. How? Giving birth. Can you imagine? No more long, painful births filled with blood loss, massive doses of anesthetic that can be harmful to the mother and the child, not to mention horrible muscle contractions, tearing of all sorts of things and even trauma to the baby. Just get Scotty in the control room, lock on the fetus and …beam it out.