Donald Trump is listening to Congress on C-SPAN.
“The House votes to impeach.”
DT– Screw this, I won’t resign. I am not a crook! Besides, I have to give Alaska to Russia or Putin will have my ass. I wonder what the tv ratings for the impeachment were.
Ivanka– Daddy, I’m complicit but I think you should quit.
DT– I’ll be ok Muffin. You know what? I’m going to get you a tiara and me a crown.
Ivanka – Yea!
DT writes a tweet – How dare you people. The FBI is run by Obama. This is a set up based on fake news. Hillary is behind this too. I am the true ruler of America and you will do as I say.
After a Senate debate: “The senate votes to convict.”
DT– This is what I get for letting people think. I should have destroyed the school system faster. I wonder what the tv ratings for all this were.
Officers show up to arrest Trump.
Officer – “Mr. Trump, we are here to arrest you.”
Ivanka yells – (she sounds like Jenny in Forrest Gump) Run daddy, run! Be complicit!
(Trump gets away via a secret passage behind a bookcase.)
DT– They’ll never find me. (Show footage of a fleet of police cars following a white Bronco a la the OJ Simpson chase scene but eventually trump gets away.)
DT– Hee Hee!
DT goes to live in a rotted out building he owned in the slums in NY. He begs for money on the street. People don’t realize he’s trump underneath the rags.
A person walking by and says – nice trump wig.
DT (groans then in Tourette like babble) – Strip club! Microwave! Obama! Putin! (Someone else gives him a quarter and he snaps out of it) Ooo I have money! I’m getting rich here. I’ll make my way back. Who can I call. Rudi Giuliani owes me one.
(Someone puts money in DT’s can).
DT- “Hey can I give you $5 instead? I need to pee on someone” (they run) Oh c’mon!
(He starts babbling again.)
I know , I’ll call Kelley Anne. She’ll do anything for money
By coincidence, Ivanka also shows up to live in the rotted out building.
Ivanka – Daddy! (They hug.) Oh daddy, the IRS took trump tower and my car. (DT – Bastards!) My clothing line went bankrupt (DT– well you are a trump) Jared’s in jail, uncle Steve is in jail. They are cell mates btw and they are not getting along. Oh, and the Chinese are looking for Eric and Don Jr after the government revoked the citizenships they sold.
DT – They didnt give the money back, did they?
Ivanka – No, they spent it all
DT – On what?
Ivanka – Hookers, pizza and now plastic surgery.
DT – Oh. Good kids.
Ivanka – Melania is happy though; she’s writing a book about you. (DT – Whatever) On top of everything, no one will let me back into my office in the White House. (She’s crying). What am I going to do?
DT– Don’t worry baby doll, you can sleep with me. (They hug). But first, I need some supplies. Can you go to the store for me?
Ivanka– Sure daddy. What do you want?
DT– Some hair bleach and orange makeup. Oh! And donuts. Lots of donuts.
Ivanka – Of course daddy. I’m complicit. Be right back.
(She leaves and the FBI agents see her (they have been following her). They call in DT’s location.)
Lots of agents show up. The FBI storms in
Officer – We’ve got you now Trumpsky!
(DT runs but not fast. His rags fall off as he runs and he is dressed in white tidy whities and a white t- shirt. As they wrestle him to the ground he says), “No, let go! I won! I’m the president! Give me a donut. I beat Hillary! I have to make America great again! This time I’ll tell the truth. I swear!”
The FBI throws him in prison.
DT in prison – Damn Obama!
A transvestite prisoner says – oh Don Don, my big orange cupcake, follow me. Some of the fellas want to give you a golden shower.
DT pauses and then agreeingly shrugs his shoulders and walks off with him.