Apparently, I was Evil in a Past Life

Good Evil SignI never used to believe in past lives, but that has now changed. Clearly I did something wrong in a past life and its coming back to haunt me.  Do you know how I know?  Everywhere I go I see a Kardashian.  It’s terrible!  In the grocery store, in the pharmacy, on tv, on the internet, they are everywhere!  I don’t know what I did, but it must have been really bad.  What did I do lord?  What did I do?  They are all over the fricking place.  I am deluged by the Kardashians.  These people don’t even do anything except get pictures taken of them doing nothing.  Even Paris Hilton has a career.  Kourtney is wearing this, Khloe is wearing that, Kim is divorcing whoever.  I even know their fricking names!  Please oh heavenly father, tell me what I did.  I’m begging you.

The Kardashians weren’t just inflicted upon me though.  They even corrupted a United States Olympian.  Bruce Jenner, this guy won the Decathlon, had his photos on cereal boxes, was an American icon and now he wants to be a woman.  Poor Bruce.  The Kardashians are evil, they are destroying the world and they are here because of something I did.  I’m sorry everyone.  I’m sorry god.  I’m so sorry!

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