Good For Business

Good for bizI anyone else creeped out when your doctor shakes your hand?  When they start out your visit by extending their hand for a customary shake?  I went to a dermatologist recently.  Nothing serious, just wanted them to look at a few moles; I do that once a year.  Fortunately they are ok.  Have you ever been to a dermatologist?  Next time you go, if you can, watch from the waiting room to see the doctor’s system.  When I watched a dermatologist from the waiting room once, I saw him leave the exam room for one patient, write stuff down in their chart, go into another exam room, come back out, write on that person’s chart, go into the next exam room, etc.  Standard procedure right?  When I was in the exam room, he came in, listened to what I said, checked me out by running his fingers all over my skin, which for some reason is what dermatologists do instead of just looking, and then make his diagnosis.  In my case I had a wart on my neck.  I know….yuck.  So he looked at it, touched it again, got out his can of liquid nitrogen, sprayed it till it froze, told me to come back in a few weeks and then he left.

Do you notice what was missing from that scenario?  HE NEVER WASHED HIS HANDS.  So he ran his fingers all over every other patient before me, with who knows what infections, legions or wounds they might have had, then he ran his fingers over me.  He’s like Typhoid Mary!  Since he didn’t wash his hands in my room, it’s safe to assume he didn’t wash his hands in their rooms either, and remember he also didn’t wash his hands in the hall way.  I have since been to a number of dermatologists and noticed that none of them washed their hands.  I bet I know why too…’s good for business.  One told me that he washed his hands but he didn’t do that in front of me and he didn’t wash his hands before he left the room, so I can only assume that is what he always does …..and so he was lying to me.  When he was gone, I washed my hands in the sink in the room but before I turned on the water, noticed that the sink was dry.  Yes, it’s good for business.

Warts are caused by a virus and so that first doctor basically spread the virus from the wart on my neck across the rest of my un-infected neck.  Yes, I got a few more warts a month later.  He said it was because I must have spread them by shaving.  Maybe that is possible, but then why didn’t he tell me not to shave?  I know why….it’s good for business.  However, maybe the virus had already set in first by him running his hands across the wart and then over my un-infected skin.  I asked him about that and he claimed it was shaving, although in the first visit in the previous month he also said that people only get warts by direct contact….. so it could have been him.  His immune system interacts with that stuff all the time so its probably so strong and he is probably basically immune to it all.  Dermatologists are like politicians: they claim if you cant see it (the virus moving as they wipe it across your skin), then they didn’t do it.  Dermatologists are also like lawyers: they mess up everything around them, then charge you to fix it.  Needless to say, I accused him of this and after some arguing and the treat of contacting the medical board, he adjusted his bill for the extra visit….and I never went back to him.

If there is any one branch of medicine that should wash their hands it’s dermatologists.  Although, I think all doctors should wash their hands in front of the patient.  Have you ever seen a doctor wash their hands in front of you?  My new dermatologist has the same habit but now I insist on watching them wash their hands.



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