NSA Apology and Gift to America

Press Release
November 12, 2013

NSA Apologizes and Releases Free AppOfficial_portrait_of_Barack_Obama

Today, the National Security Agency (NSA) apologized to the American people and as a token of sincerity released a free texting app.

The app, which works on all cell phone platforms, is a gift to the American people but works on any phone platform on the planet.  Keith Alexander, Director of the NSA, in a press release, stated, “We at the NSA sincerely realize our mistake and our constitutional faux pas.  As proof of our sincerity, we give to the world this app which anyone can send text messages with.  We hope you will forgive us.”

President Obama followed with, “This is a great day for America.  My heart goes out to the agency for their understanding and correction of this problem.  I’m sure the American people will agree with me and thank them for their thoughtfulness.”

After reading this press release, Senator John McCain and Secretary of State John Kerry, met and gave each other a big hug.  “Our country is finally at peace,” said John Kerry.  John McCain followed with, “Yes it is,” while a tear ran down his cheek.

John Perry Barlow, head of the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), released a follow up press release that stated, “I guess we can forgive the NSA.  All is once again OK with America.”

Even Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, said, “Thank you NSA.  All is forgiven.”

A White House reception is scheduled for next week for all nation leaders around the world.



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