Silicon Gangs

Silicon Gangs

By Jon Marcus

It’s a quiet day in Cupertino, California. People are starting to leave work. At Apple Computer headquarters, an engineer (dressed in jeans, a hoodie and generally shabby looking clothes) is walking in the parking lot to his BMW with his computer in a computer bag. He is met by five equally shabbily dressed guys also with computer bags over their shoulders.

GANG LEADER
This is a stick up. Hand it over!

VICTIM
Fine, take my cash, just let me keep my wallet, OK?
(He is met with evil laughter.)

GANG MEMBER
Keep your money. Hand over the prototype.

VICTIM
What?! No! Not that!

GANG MEMBER
Yes. Hand over that iPhone 37!

VICTIM
But my boss will kill me.
(The gang members move in closer and surrounding him)

GANG MEMBER
And we won’t?

VICTIM
Wait, do you actually want the iPhone 37 or just the iOS 36 software?

GANG MEMBER
Uh, Don’t you mean the iOS 38 software?

VICTIM
Uh, I think it’s 36.

GANG MEMBER
(to his gang) Is it one higher or one lower?

GANG MEMBER 2
It’s one lower

GANG MEMBER 3
No, it’s one higher.  No, wait.  Yeah.  No, he’s right.

GANG MEMBER 2
Actually, I think it is lower.

GANG LEADER
Will everyone shut up.  Geeze.  Just hand over the bag.

(The victim looks terrified. But he gives in, reaches in his computer bag, takes out the prototype of the new iPhone and hands it over.)

VICTIM
Here, let me keep the bag.  My mom gave it to me.  Besides, it has my lunch in it.

GANG MEMBER
Fine.  Now get face down on the ground and count down from a million by the square root of 79,437.
(They run)

VICTIM
Ok, the square root of 79,437 is… uh, where’s my calculator……
(He fishes through his bag.)

Scene – ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS

REPORTER
Another two muggings by Silicon Valley gangs happened today. One at Apple Computer. The victim was robbed in the parking lot of the upcoming iPhone prototype.

VICTIM
(on video) I was scared for my life. (sobbing) They threatened to kill me.

REPORTER
Fortunately he was left unharmed unlike last night’s robbery of a flash drive containing an unreleased Lucas Arts game.
(We see video of a computer programmer being beaten with iPads)

REPORTER
The victim was beaten when in an attempt to protect himself he took out a light saber but then realized it only worked in his imagination. He woke up in the hospital in critical condition. (Show video of the victim in the hospital on all sorts of machines.)

REPORTER
Those assailants got away, but as for the stolen iPhone 39h, it was found in a bar in San Francisco and sold 20 minutes later on Amazon for $12,000

Scene – MICROSOFT

The next morning at Microsoft in Mountain View, CA, an engineer is parking his car in the parking lot. The parking lot is surrounded by electrified fence and only one entrance/exit which requires people check in at a military-like guard shack. As the engineer gets out of his car….

GANG MEMBER
Hand it over Poindexter.

VICTIM
Hand what over? Who are you?

GANG MEMBER
The code. We want the code

VICTIM
What code? How did you get in here?

GANG MEMBER
The anti-virus code. We want the code to the new Windows anti-virus software.

VICTIM
I don’t have that; its in the system in the building.” (He is sniveling in fear)

GANG MEMBER
Oh really? Check his computer boys.

VICTIM
No!!!
(They grab his computer bag, take out the computer and start it up.)

GANG MEMBER
Whats the log in password?

VICTIM
Please don’t!

GANG MEMBER
The password!
(The gang moves in)

VICTIM
OK, OK! Its… AppleSux*MyBIG1!
(They type in the password and fish around for the file. Then they find it.)

GANG MEMBER
Got it!
(One of them puts a USB drive in the computer and takes the code.)

VICTIM
Please don’t do this. Please!

GANG MEMBER
Here we go.
(Victim is crying. Then after the code is uploaded)….

GANG MEMBER
OK we got it. Delete boss?

GANG LEADER
Yeah, delete it.

VICTIM
Noooooooooooooo………………!!
(The gang members run to the electrified fence and the first one jumps on a mini trampoline that was waiting there for them. They each spring over the fence one by one, jump into a van and drive off.)

Scene – GOOGLE

Its a beautiful sunny day. We see an engineer walking to the community bicycles that Google has for its employees, taking one out, bicycling off and being jumped as he passes a car. He is being beaten with his own computer next to a previous engineer that is already laying on the ground unconscious.

Scene – INTUIT

The gang is surrounding an engineer and one is typing on the computer.

VICTIM
Don’t mess with that code!!! How will people correctly pay their taxes?!!!

Scene – POLICE CHIEF INTERVIEW

REPORTER
What steps are being taken to protect the public, Chief?

POLICE CHIEF
None. The public is fine. Its just the engineers that are at risk. Well, that is outside of a recent theft on a San Francisco bus…

(Video shows thieves on a bus taking everyone’s cell phones, iPads and computers… One girl is ignoring the robbery and tries to hang on to her phone as she is talking to her girl friend…)

GIRL ON BUS
…Oh my god, are you serious? (the phone is taken from her hand while she is in mid conversation) Hey!!!
(A gang member takes an iPad from an old lady. She clobbers him with her purse.)

OLD LADY
I was in the middle of that Scrabble game!

REPORTER
What are these gangs after?

POLICE CHIEF
Well it depends on the gang. With the holidays coming around, some just want to wipe the identifying code from the devices and re-gift them to their friends. Others are corporate thefts to make better software and some of the thefts revolve around the stock market. If they can steal important codes or devices, they can make a fortune in the stock market betting against companies they are stealing from as the news comes out.

(We see a scene as a guy in his messy apartment and in his underwear is surrounded by junk food, watching the news and the stock ticker on his computer. As news of a theft comes out…he starts tapping keys to his computer fast and hard.)

POLICE CHIEF
The smarter ones though want to ruin their competition by stealing their ideas and programming code before it can be patented. Its big business.

Scene – APARTMENT OF A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER

A computer programmer is in his studio apartment, at his desk, typing.

PROGRAMMER
There, now my Whack-a-Mole app is done and I can put it on iTunes.
(As he is about to tap the key to upload it, his door is busted down, three guys break in and start beating him with iPads)

PROGRAMMER
Go ahead! Take the app!

Scene – WOZ

Steve Wozniak is walking out of the Santa Clara Convention Center where there is a cloud conference going on.

GANG LEADER
There he is.  Lets go.

The gang surrounds Woz

WOZ
Hey guys, whats up?

GANG LEADER
We want the cloud code Wozniak.

WOZ
The code?  What are you, one of those gangs mugging people?

GANG MEMBER
What if we are?

Woz takes his computer out of his computer bag and shows it to them

WOZ
Its in here.  Catch.

He throws the computer straight up in the air.  The gang members watch the computer go up and suddenly Woz strikes into action doing flying karate kicks, karate screams, punches and throws.  The computer falls back down, he catches it and he walks away with the gang members all unconscious on the ground.

WOZ
Punks.

Scene – POLICE CHIEF INTERVIEW (CONT’D)

POLICE CHIEF
Competition is fierce but there is a new trend emerging. A horrible trend. Companies don’t have enough qualified engineers to do their work, so they are starting to import slaves.

(Video – A guy throws his hat up in the air at his college graduation in Evansville, Indiana. Before it can hit the ground, he is dragged out of the auditorium, thrown in a van, driven to San Francisco and forced to sign a contract to work for $95,000 per year at a start up. He is given lunch daily and worked so hard, he cant even remember his former life. He is crying as he codes.)

POLICE CHIEF
I know that might sound ok to you, but he could work from home contracting for three companies and make four times that. But all he does here is code for slave wages against his will.

(Video showing the slave getting tired and the Supervisor yelling at him, “The next release is coming up in two weeks…code dammit! Code!)

POLICE CHIEF
The thing is, the police force doesn’t have the ability to keep up with some of these gangs. They are so technologically advanced, they keep evading us.

Scene – CONFERENCE

Shabbily dressed engineers are talking at a conference in a nice hotel. As they walk into a room to hear the next lecture, one hangs back to text a message on his phone. Suddenly, four guys phase in from a transporter, grab the sole engineer, stomp on his foot, cover his mouth and phase out with him.

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