I’m 45 and I have always loved older women. Even in my 20s I was dating women in their 40s. They know who they are, they have a sexy, intelligent, elegant maturity about them and they don’t bullshit me……as much as younger women anyway. Of course, as I find beauty in most women, younger women are like candy; they look so delicious and fun and you just want to eat them up, but you realize later that they aren’t as satisfying as you thought they would be and ultimately they are really bad for you.
One day though, I walked into a store and a beautiful woman who worked there, who was in her low 20s, struck up a conversation with me. Her name was Julia. She was so cute and she had a sparkle in her eyes as she talked to me. I thought I might have been imagining it but we stood there talking for 10 minutes and she was not only fun to talk to, but she asked questions about me and seemed to be really interested in me. The conversation was both interesting and personal. She grew up in Nicaragua; I have always had a thing for Latin women.
So as I left the store I felt like doing handsprings. I suddenly understood why so many older guys want to date younger women. We all make fun of them like they are robbing the cradle and are pathetically trying to relive their youth, but it all now made sense to me. The energy this woman exuded was intoxicating. I was walking on a cloud.
I kept thinking about her over the next few days and I wanted to go back and see her. Of course, I also thought I might have been imagining any two-way chemistry and would be totally embarrassed if I asked her out or made any advances. Never the less, I was compelled to go see her again. I had to go back.
So about a week later I walked into the store and she was there. She was talking to another customer and eventually she looked over, saw me, smiled and waved at me. There was that youthful feeling again. I was so glad I went back. I couldn’t wait for her to come over and talk to me again.
“Hi Jon!” This time she hugged me. I was in heaven. “What brings you by?”
“Oh just wanted to look at this device again. And of course look at your smile again.”
“Oh stop.” She put her hand on my chest. Suddenly, I felt like the room was spinning. I’m just going to ask her out. She continued though, “I’m glad you came by, I was thinking about you and I wanted to ask you to dinner.”
I cant believe this is happening. “Oh?” I replied even though I was doing handsprings inside again.
“Yeah, my family is having a big dinner next week and I think you would really hit it off with my mom.” The handsprings turned to an old man walking with a cane.
“Uh, I don’t know if I want to be set up.”
“Oh come on. She’s really cute and it’ll be fun.”
I stood there in depressed silence looking down at the floor.
“To be honest Jon, she’s really great but, is this just between you and me?…..”
I thought, ugh, what now. Is it actually going to get worse?
“…..well to be honest she needs a green card. But she is really cute and really great.”
Yes, it’s worse. I didn’t even feel just old; now I felt like total fucking crap. It was all in my imagination. This gorgeous young thing was flirting with me so I could be seduced into meeting her mom and committing a felony. I felt like dirt…..old dirt. Next stop, the closest bar.
“Julia, I’m sure she is really cute and all, but I don’t do blind dates no matter how hot their daughter is,” she smiled “and between you and me, I’m glad you liked me enough to tell me this but as a friend, I should tell you to be very careful who you say this stuff to. This is only the second time we met and what you are asking me to do is a felony. How do you know I don’t work with the Immigration Department?”
She was silent. I regained my dignity, but I didn’t like it. She had to hear this stuff though.
“We’ll keep this conversation between you and I but fyi, the next time you think of setting someone up with your mom so she can get a green card, at least ask them what they do for a living.”
Coincidentally, I now felt like I was her father giving her advice.
“And although I liked the flirting, back off on it or they might want to date you instead of your mom. Thanks for asking though. You are very nice. Take care.”
I walked out. I felt old, demoralized and ridiculous. Now seriously, where is the closest bar?