An Old Lady Kicked Me

I was standing in the grocery store checkout line when the girl in front of me asked me a question about the store.  She was very cute and seemed to be about 25.  We were having a nice conversation and I found she was quite nice too.  Then an old lady got behind me in the line.  She pushed my food forward on the conveyor belt so she could get more on the belt quickly.  I hate when strangers touch my food; its rude.  I didn’t say anything though, she seemed like the type of woman who goes home to an apartment with 20 cats and stews in her depression.

So I kept talking to the nice cute girl in front of me.  We got along very well and I thought she was flirting.  I asked her if she wanted to grab a beer.  She replied that she doesn’t date men anymore.  Ugh, that hurt.  Maybe she wasnt flirting.  I told her that she must have been dating the wrong men to have made her so drastically change her preferences and maybe she just needs to meet a nice guy.  She smiled and giggled.

Just then, I felt something hit my ankle.  I looked down and there was nothing there.  I said to the cute girl that we seemed to get along well and it would be nice to hang out and talk.  I felt the knock at my ankle again.  The old lady behind me must have kicked me.  I looked at her and said, “Excuse me, did you just kick me?”  She replied with a tone of being coyly obnoxious, “No.  Must be your imagination.”  And I said, “No, someone kicked me and you are the only one in the vicinity.”  And she looked in my eyes with a smile and said, “Must have been kharma.”  The girl in front of me laughed.  I smiled at her.  We both realized the lady was just one of the many nuts in the city.  Between the nuts and the traumatized, newly converted lesbians, I realized that I need to move to the suburbs.

So I struck out with the cute girl thanks to all the jerks she dated before me, and an old lady kicked me.  As I walked away, I thought the old lady kicked me because she felt that life had passed her by and she was upset to see two people enjoying themselves in front of her.  Its like she was lashing out and kicking life in anger.  I wonder what apartments go for in Mountain View.

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