Customer – I’d like to pick up my prescription.
Employee (he always speaks in a monotone) – What’s the last name?
C – Smith
E – There are a number of Smiths. First name?
C – Jean
E – Is that with a J or a G?
C – J
E – Ok. J-e-a-n?
C – Yes, Jean.
E – Ok. Here it is.
C – Thanks. I have a question.
E – Ok
C – Do I have to eat food with this?
E – It’s on the stickers on the bottle.
C – (she looks) Oh. Can I also get some Sudafed?
E – Sure. 24? 48?
C – What do you mean?
E – The number of pills
C – Oh. 24.
E – Ok.
(the line of customers is growing)
C – Oh and a package of Nicorette.
E – Which flavor?
C – Uh, orange.
E – Which size?
C – The larger one.
E – Ok. Anything else.
C – No, thats all.
E – Ok. Please run your ID trough the machine. (She runs the card, the machine does nothing) Can you try it faster? (She runs the card. The machine beeps.) It says you have bought too much Sudafed this month so I can’t sell you this.
C – There is a limit?
E – Yes.
C – Since when?
E – For as long as I can remember.
C – Says who?
E – The government.
C – Oh. Well I didn’t get that much.
(People in line are fidgeting.)
E – It says you did ma’am. I’m just telling you what it’s telling me.
C – Can you override it?
E – No. I have to do what the machine says.
C – Fine.
E – We have this other kind.
C – No, it doesn’t work.
E – Ok. Is there anything else?
C – No.
E – Ok. So for the rest, is it cash or credit.
C – (Fishing through her purse and taking things out one by one). Uh, is this card ok?
E – Yes. Please swipe it.
C – Same machine?
E – Yes. (She runs the card) I’m sorry, the card is declined. Do you have another card?
C – Oh, uh (she fishes through her purse again). Let’s try this one. (She runs the card)
E – Declined.
C – Do you take debit?
E – Yes. (She runs the card) Declined.
C – Oh. Now what.
E – Do you have cash?
C – Yes. But (she goes through her purse) not enough.
E – Ok, what would you like to remove?
C – How about the cat nips and the kale chips.
E – Ok. Do you have enough for this?
C – Still short. Uh, also remove the aromatherapy machine and the aromatherapy essential oils.
(the people in line are fidgeting and getting upset)
…and the herbal tea and the magazine. I really wanted to see what’s up with the last bachelorette too.
E – Sorry.
C – Oh by the way, do you take this discount card?
E – Yes.
C – Oh good. Now I can add the magazine and the cat nips back. (Fishing through her wallet) Did you give me my license back?
E – I never took it ma’am. You just ran it through the machine.
C – (she searches through her purse) Oh here it is.
(1st customer in the line) – Lady please. I have to get out of here.
C – Don’t be rude.
1 – How much are you short. I’ll pay the difference.
C – No thank you. Uh here. Is this enough?
E – Its 50 cents short.
(She fumbles around her purse)
C – Oh, I found another two dollars.
E – Ok
C – It was wadded up in the corner of my purse.
E – Great.
C – Oh wait. I want a bag of potato chips. (She runs off to look for it. Everyone in line is upset) Where are the chips?
E – Isle 4
(She goes to isle 4)
C – Uh…
E – On the right in the middle
C – Oh, here they are
(Everyone in line mumbles “yea.”)
(She returns) Oh can you double bag it?
E – Yes that’s 10 cents per bag. (He enters it in the cash register)
C – Oh, wait then I’m short again.
1 – I’ll pay
C – Shush.
E – It’s ok ma’am. No charge.
C – oh, that’s very nice of you. Thank you.
(She leaves. The cashier takes a dollar out of his pocket, puts it in the register and takes the change.)
E – Next.
1 – Finally. I’m picking up a prescription.
E – Name.
1 – Burgess
E – Donald?
1 – Right
E – Ok. Your insurance card was rejected. Do you have another?